11 of the craziest Thai TV commercials this decade

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Although most Thai TV commercials are only 30 seconds long, the talented, creative and, yes, sometimes mildly disturbed writers manage to come up with some very original stuff.

We’ve scoured Youtube.com looking for 10 of the best from the past decade but we’ve ended up with 11, as we couldn’t bear to leave any of these out. The range of emotions they cover is stunning, from goofy and tragic, to sexist and downright gross. These are the ones that made us laugh, spam our friends with them on Facebook and shake our heads with bemusement. Enjoy!

1. Politically incorrect toothpaste

Thailand generally lacks the fine lines that Western countries use to define political correctness, as this ad by brand Twin Lotus Herbal shows. It’s a noble message — appearances can be deceiving — but it would have made more sense had Terry Gilliam directed it.

2. High quality ceiling tiles

The ubiquitous gecko takes center stage as a lizard romance that is tragically interrupted by cheap ceiling tiles. The men at the end take their anger out on their friend as they choke him. “Why are you so cheap!?”

3. Sylvania lights

Thais are famously afraid of ghosts and can recognize several hundred different types of them to prove it. This brilliant ad for Sylvania lights shows that nothing’s really scary. As long as the lights are on.

4. Diet tuna

An oft-forwarded classic that plays with the legendary beauty of Thai females and, again, how appearances can be deceiving.

5. Thailand: Land of (painful) smiles

This ad takes aim at the famous Thai smile and how it brings in tourist dollars. But in order to offset how much oil Thailand burns, those smiles would need to get a whole lot bigger. A sweet ad with a macabre edge.

6. Staying healthy for the lads

Another example of Thailand’s refreshing lack of political correctness shows Thailand’s male/female demographics with a bit of visual flair. Too bad the ad is for fish strips, which smell bad enough to keep the boys away no matter what you look like.

7. Cheers Beer

Cheers Beer came out with a series of ads that showed how the little things in life can be cause for celebration. Not sure what that has to do with beer, but it’s well done.

8. Pay your bills!

A straightforward story with a slight Tarantino-esque edge, this is a good example of Thailand’s love affair with goofy visual humor.

9. My car! Eh, nevermind

A hotel valet gets a bit too excited behind the wheel of a nice car with disastrous results. Not to worry though, the car’s owner has some pretty good insurance.

10. Smartpurse Debit Card

A reliance on physical money can often be a liability, as this very funny but slightly distasteful ad shows.

11. Bad Eyesight

Possibly the most tasteless and/or funniest Thai commercial in history (depending on where you draw the line). A clearer example of the need for proper eyewear simply cannot be made. Best part – the look of ‘oh my God, they wouldn’t…’ on the guards’ faces at the 0:37 mark.

So, which one was your favorite/least favorite?

I’ll translate for you what happened next:

Me: “Excuse me, the ATM machine seems to be broken and won’t give back my card.”

Banker: “One of our ATM machines?”

Me: “Yep.  The first one outside.  It ate my card.  Why would an ATM machine eat my card?  Did it not eat lunch?”  Lame joke, I know.  But I was trying!  At least they found it funny.

Banker: “Hahaha! I’m not sure if ATM machines have to eat.”

The nice banker finally goes to check the ATM and sure enough, there’s my ATM card.  But before giving it to me she needs to copy my driver’s license (because my Passport wasn’t with me).  So I sit down and wait for her to do what she needs to do.

Banker: “You look fatter in this picture on your ID card!”

Me: “I know!  It’s because Thailand is so hot all the time!  I sweat constantly!  That and all foreigners look fat compared to Thai people!  Here, have another lame joke.  But it worked…  The crowd goes wild!

Bankers: “Hahaha!  So, your name is Michael…like Michael Jackson?”

Me: “Yep, that’s me.  We’re both white!”  The lame jokes continue to pour out of me but I’d be lying if I wasn’t a bit (or a lot) proud of the conversation thus far…  all in Thai!

Bankers: “So, do you have a Thai girlfriend yet?”

Me: “Nope.  I have a foreign wife already…  One woman in my life is enough.  I can’t understand why a lot of men want more than one to deal with!”  Mildly condescending, I realize, but they thought this was hilarious!  Another point for me!

Bankers: “So I see your account isn’t with this bank.  Would you like to open an account today?”

Me: “No.  I haven’t eaten in days because I don’t have any money.”  A complete lie, but luckily they took it as the joke I meant it to be…

Bankers: “So how long will you be staying in Thailand?  Are you here on vacation?”

Me: “Nope.  I’m not here on vacation.  We’re here studying Thai but we plan on staying in Thailand for, who knows, maybe 5, 10, 20 years!  I like Thailand so much I’d love to live here until I’m GAY !!!!

Yep, that’s right.  After how proud I was to have such a long conversation entirely in Thai, tell a few jokes, and turn a headache into a good time I manage to pull something like this off.

The Thai word for old is VERY similar to the word for gay.  It takes quite a bit to embarrass me but this sure came close.  I just told an entire office of Thai bankers that I want to stay in Thailand until I’m gay!

This brings me to some closing thoughts.  In these situations you have to be able to laugh at yourself.  It’s not the first time I’ve made a fool of myself and surely won’t be the last.  I thank God for his grace as we fumble through learning a new language.  I thank Him for the good laughs in the afternoon and for supporters back home who, despite knowing I’m telling Thai people I want to be gay, will continue to support us and possibly even pray for us all the more!

You guys are the best!