Golden Tree Snake... DEAD.

Now, Thailand is known for having TONS of snakes (some poisonous, some not).  It’s actually probably more surprising that we hadn’t seen one here up until yesterday morning.  But, when you see a bright green with black banded snake IN YOUR LIVING ROOM, it gets your attention.  And as soon as Sara saw it, she was done.  I mean, like scared/creeped/shivering like a cold 9 yr old outside at 3AM by herself.

Anyways, the snake quickly made it’s way behind a book shelf that took about 20 minutes to remove book by book, bags, other junk until the snake was finally accessible.  Oh yeah, and that’s when it started CLIMBING UP THE WALL!  What!? Snakes on the floor is one thing.  Snakes in water are creepy.  But snakes slithering up a flat wall is flippin’ weird.  Luckily it was this weird act that was this snake’s downfall.  A quick smack to the “neck” (Do snakes have necks?  Like where would it start and end?  Where are the shoulders?) with an umbrella handle followed by repeated blows just for good measure and to make me feel more like a man in my wife’s eyes and it was all over with.  Well, except that even after dead, the stupid thing keeps slithering, coiling and moving around.  WEIRD!

So, yeah, I guess there is just another story to add to the numerous interesting moments that we’ve been collecting living here in Thailand.  Oh, and it seems the snake isn’t so poisonous for humans but it is known for being able to climb flat, vertical walls… …oh, and it can fly from tree to tree…  If you are super weird and are interested you can read more about this snake and other snakes in Thailand here and here.

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I even got to ride my lang. tutor's 4-Wheeler for a bit. Sweet!

The exam went well today also.  Spent nearly the entire time just talking about the little victories I have had lately in using my Thai and getting things fixed or done.  It’s nice to once again… finally …feel useful.

Coming from the States I felt useful.  I was involved in a lot of things, I was effective at what I did, had a lot of things on my plate (as is my personality).  So, coming to Thailand has been a bit rough in some ways.  Without a good amount of Thai, I felt useless.  I couldn’t tell the mechanic that I needed my motorbike tire changed without both getting a headache and handing them out to everyone I was trying to talk to.  If something needed done at our home, I didn’t know how to give directions to our home and describe what the issue was over the phone. Early on, I couldn’t even describe how short or long I wanted my hair cut when going for a trim on the ole’ Fohawk.  But, finally, I am able to do all of these things… and once again feel a bit useful here.  I bought the parts needed and replaced a sink drain in our bathroom yesterday afternoon, I’ve helped move air-conditioning units at a local church, I’ve taken our washing machine to get repaired, I’ve called for a professional to come and service our Air-con unit when it stopped working…  Oh, and I’ve ordered pizza over the phone and it was successfully (after them calling nearly 4 times because they were lost) delivered.

So, maybe, just maybe, we’ve turned a bit of a corner in our language learning and our lives here after 10 months.  And in good time.  We’re looking to buy a vehicle soon, next weekend we will be traveling to look for housing in Bangkok for when we move next month, and the following week we will sit before the church board in Bangkok to finalize details of us partnering with them to plant a church in the coming years.

Thanks for all your recent prayers and encouragement.  Maybe we’ll be able to do this missionary thing after all…

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Less than a split second later my wife, being as omnipotent as any human I have ever met, said, “That’s a dude.”

What!?

A dude!?

In my periphery she had a bust that said anything but “dude” and longer legs and a shorter skirt than I had ever witnessed…

…then I saw the Adam’s apple.  There’s not much you can do to hide that bad boy.  It just sticks out there and screams “I’m a dude!”

Sara didn’t have to do anything to make me regret my double take.  Indeed, it was a dude who turned into a dude-ette.

I’ve never felt so small.  So violated.  So hurt…

…than when my wife caught me double-taking on a transvestite…

The more we are in Thailand the better I get at deciphering the dude-turned-dude-ettes from the girls.  Sara has taught me well.  And women just seem to know the difference.  Adam’s Apple.  Shoulder structure.  Tone of voice.  All of these are a dead giveaway for any woman.  It’s the instinct they have. “One of these is not like the other.”  Women are probably better at “Where’s Waldo” than men also…  …it’s instinct.

Anyways, these are some random personal stories from our past in Thailand.  And, yes.  Those images above… …all dudes turned dude-ettes in the world renowned Miss Tiffany Universe pageant held in Pattaya, Thailand every year.  This year’s pageant just ended and Thailand prides themselves in being open to all sexual preferences, changes, and backgrounds…

Pray for Thailand and it’s mixed up views on sexuality and pride.  Pray for us as we minister in this context.

Your Thoughts?

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[ht: JesusNeedsNewPR]

11 of the craziest Thai TV commercials this decade

Read more: 11 of the craziest Thai TV commercials this decade | CNNGo.com

Although most Thai TV commercials are only 30 seconds long, the talented, creative and, yes, sometimes mildly disturbed writers manage to come up with some very original stuff.

We’ve scoured Youtube.com looking for 10 of the best from the past decade but we’ve ended up with 11, as we couldn’t bear to leave any of these out. The range of emotions they cover is stunning, from goofy and tragic, to sexist and downright gross. These are the ones that made us laugh, spam our friends with them on Facebook and shake our heads with bemusement. Enjoy!

1. Politically incorrect toothpaste

Thailand generally lacks the fine lines that Western countries use to define political correctness, as this ad by brand Twin Lotus Herbal shows. It’s a noble message — appearances can be deceiving — but it would have made more sense had Terry Gilliam directed it.

2. High quality ceiling tiles

The ubiquitous gecko takes center stage as a lizard romance that is tragically interrupted by cheap ceiling tiles. The men at the end take their anger out on their friend as they choke him. “Why are you so cheap!?”

3. Sylvania lights

Thais are famously afraid of ghosts and can recognize several hundred different types of them to prove it. This brilliant ad for Sylvania lights shows that nothing’s really scary. As long as the lights are on.

4. Diet tuna

An oft-forwarded classic that plays with the legendary beauty of Thai females and, again, how appearances can be deceiving.

5. Thailand: Land of (painful) smiles

This ad takes aim at the famous Thai smile and how it brings in tourist dollars. But in order to offset how much oil Thailand burns, those smiles would need to get a whole lot bigger. A sweet ad with a macabre edge.

6. Staying healthy for the lads

Another example of Thailand’s refreshing lack of political correctness shows Thailand’s male/female demographics with a bit of visual flair. Too bad the ad is for fish strips, which smell bad enough to keep the boys away no matter what you look like.

7. Cheers Beer

Cheers Beer came out with a series of ads that showed how the little things in life can be cause for celebration. Not sure what that has to do with beer, but it’s well done.

8. Pay your bills!

A straightforward story with a slight Tarantino-esque edge, this is a good example of Thailand’s love affair with goofy visual humor.

9. My car! Eh, nevermind

A hotel valet gets a bit too excited behind the wheel of a nice car with disastrous results. Not to worry though, the car’s owner has some pretty good insurance.

10. Smartpurse Debit Card

A reliance on physical money can often be a liability, as this very funny but slightly distasteful ad shows.

11. Bad Eyesight

Possibly the most tasteless and/or funniest Thai commercial in history (depending on where you draw the line). A clearer example of the need for proper eyewear simply cannot be made. Best part – the look of ‘oh my God, they wouldn’t…’ on the guards’ faces at the 0:37 mark.

So, which one was your favorite/least favorite?

I found this from a friends Facebook page.  Kind of amazing, eh?  In my drinking days I wouldn’t want to play them in beer pong…

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(ht:  Brody)

It only happens every 1000 years.  Live it up!  Most of you will be living it up as you get your beauty sleep.

For the rest of you, where and how did 12:34:56 7/8/9 find you?

Anyways, check it out….  It’s good….  Real good….

So, why aren’t we happy?